Sunday, April 02, 2006

I'm still down with sore throat and it's killing me as I have it together with me for about one week already. I'm half deaf again due to the unequal balance of my ear drums. I don't feel like going to school tomorrow but I still have to. Today went to back toButterworth for the Cheng Beng festival. Everything was smooth sailing, I think. Mom woke me up quite early and asked me to go to market and get some stuff for that festival. As usual, the weather there was really hot, I mean extremely hot and my sickness is even worse. After I reached home about 1, I continued working on my IT folio, finished it around 3. Then continued to procrastinate, read a story book. An old one that I managed to get from the library, the story is quite interesting, centered about an ancient Englishman. Finished Sin's Mates, Dates and Inflatable Bras already. I still have My Sister's Keeper to go on. Abandoned it for some time and now turning back for it.

I still doubt am I a good mate or vice versa. Sigh.
Am I a good daughter?
Am I a good sister?
Am I a good student?
Am I a good friend?
Am I a good granddaughter?
I still have no answer for all these. Sigh.

I know what type of person I am.
I'm not the tough one, I cried easily whenever I'm touched.
During the end of the day, I sit on the corner and think back what I did before.
I don't feel lonely although I have no boyfriend.
But if I were to love someone, I'll love him deeply. Not planning to find any Mr.Right now.
I don't flirt.
I don't act cute.
I hate to be associated with the word 'cute' even it's a compliment.
I'm not pretty.
I'm not attractive.
I'm neither slim nor tall.
I'm not matured physically but mentally. I'm always looking for the truth in everything.
I'm can be considered as hardworking, I'm not self-praising. I'm not hardworking enough when I was in form 2 and 3. I fooled around, got involved in some stupid relationships. I'm not afraid to admit it right now because I can even laughed at my foolishness last time. Those relationships aren't long.
OK, face the fact now! I realized that I can live more happily and peacefully without guys. No offence to guys, alright? I just don't need any guy to make me complete. I'm being myself.
But now, I've set my target. To achieve more in future. To start working hard and make a better living. To be independant.

I think I have to go now. Alright not think, but I must! My sister want to use the computer at 11. I'm afraid that she'll be an online freak and this will obviously affect her studies. Hopefully she'll realize it. Her marks is already going downhill now. Hope this is the first and the last time.

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